It was night time. I sat in my living room, watching the television. But i could not focus nor understand the person in the box is trying to tell me. My mind was elsewhere, somewhere far from home. Hoping that my “mind” would return soon, or i would definitely lose it.
Just as i had that thought, the heavy electric gates jolted into motion, making a loud clang as it always did when someone opens it using the remote. I immediately jumped out of the sofa, and unlocked that large silver padlock to go out. Mz, my eldest sister was carrying a paper box, with a smile so wide and curved the crescent moon should be envious of.
She was trying to navigate the dark and narrow corner caused by my mother’s car that had been parked before my fathers, but she seemed to have done it with ease, both of us had the same thing in mind, to quickly get to our backyard and unleash the contents of that box she was carrying. Mq, my 2nd eldest sister too was hyper with joy.
No one said a thing, the buzz in the family could not be described in words.
Crossing the living room, to the dining room to the kitchen seemed an eternity, but alas we were all squatting down on the kitchen floor, and my sisters slowly, gently unfolded the box lid. Inside, was a snow white, furry ball. Inanimate at first, it slowly turned around, revealing its eyes. Like two black marbles embedded in the slow, its innocent stare melted five hearts mercilessly.
It was a puppy, a Japanese spitz.
It was also afraid, afraid of the new world it was in now. Afraid that we are all monsters hungry for a feast, which at the time really seemed like what it was. We wanted to stay with it for the whole night, as it was so adorable, more innocent than us mere children of 15 years below, i myself was only 9 or so.
Then Mq asked, “where is she sleeping tonight?”, “inside the house!” i yelled. “don’t be ridiculous,” mother said, “just leave it outside for tonight, it will get used to it sooner or later, and you three should really go to bed, its 10pm already”.
All three of us, after putting her down back in the box, now laden with old rags and towels, and the after the box was set in a corner of the wetkitchen outside, we shuffled our heavy feet back upstairs to our rooms.
That night i tossed and turned endlessly, hoping for daylight to come. That night was akin to suffering in hell, hoping the day would tick past what was an eternity and i would be redeemed again.
Too tired from the excitement, i did fell asleep.
I opened my eyes, and the leaves of our curry tree periodically obscuring the morning sun on my face, i jumped up out of bed. Did not even bother to brush my teeth, and ran straight down to the kitchen.
There she was, standing just outside the door, with her miniscule tail swaggering like a noob pirate trying to wield a wooden sword, her tongue sticking out. I went closer to her quickly, just before reaching down to pat her, with her head held high, she spun herself a full circle before starting up at me again, the structure of her jaw makes it look like she is smiling, but we had a feeling if she could smile, she indeed was doing it.
Little did we know that became her signature move in the years to come.
It was a weekday, and i had to go to school. Never had i hated school that much. From last nights hell on bed to limbo in the classroom, i jittered, i shuffled my feet, i shook my tight, i spun my pen and bit by fingers. Then the school bell rung, after a total of 12, i would be free.
Like the man in the tv the night before, i could not understand what my teacher was trying to say. My mind was covered in a blanket of white furriness. Spinning my white eraser round and round, like how she would do it, i smiled to myself.
I stuck my head out of the bus while going home. The wind on my face was sweet freedom. My friends kept asking me about my new puppy and i told them with much enthusiasm.
Reaching home, i left my school bag outside, and just played with her until the sun set that day. My sisters were there too. We struggled hard to think for a name for her. None of us came up with a good one, and we jsut let it hang.
The sky grew darker and darker, but her white fur penetrated the darkness and was the only que to where she was while i sat in our backyard still playing with her all types of games. That day she barked for the first time when i sat up on a highwall. She again looking at me with her swaggering tail and wide eyes with tongue out.
It was then my sister Mq came running out, and yelled “Sabrina!”. “what?”
“call her Sabrina!”, she was only inside watching the television while having her dinner and Sabrina the Teenage Witch cartoon was on. It was a good name, i agreed and Mz did too.
From henceforth, our first puppy, our first dog came to known as Sabrina.
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I remembered the days, where on Saturday lazy mornings, i would lie down on the dining room floor, and you would curl up at my feet.
I remembered how mom’s friends would say you are a dog who can smile.
I remembered watching you grow day by day, from a little fuzzy ball to a respectable, elegant size.
I remembered watching your wooden sword tail grow and spread like a peacocks feather.
I remembered carrying you home after you attempted to run out of the house and you turned around to lick my nose
I remembered the time you would be our goal keeper, intercepting our goal shots, and would always let go of the ball once i place my feet on it, as if you were saying “again! Again!”.
I remembered watching the stars on the drive way with you, troubled by human things, you reminded me theres a simpler way of life by tossing my arm over your back with your black buttoned nose.
I remembered you galloping at me with so much excitement you forgot how to run with
four legs as i lie down on the floor.
I remembered you always love to curl your back against my feet when i sat cross legged on the floor.
I remembered how i shoved you under the piano and you would panic and crawl out, but always came back to me for another go.
I remembered bathing you with cold water, and you would shiver and all i did was wanted to hug you warm again.
I remembered that same bath that you shook off all the soap water on my school uniform
I remembered how you always try to catch stray cats but they are always too fast for you
I remembered when i slept on the living room sofa at night, you would wake me up by either sleeping under my arm, or licking my finger tips, then look at me with those wide eyes and wagging tail as if its perfectly okay to wake me up.
I remembered you would always bark at nothing past the gate, it really annoyed us but we know youre just doing your job.
I remembered how you would join us for dinner, and i would feed you a bone by biting the edges of it with my mouth and you would receive it at the same time trying your best not to touch my lips at all.
I remembered you would always bring the food we give to you outside because you wont dirty the floor. After youre finished you would run back again looking for more.
I remembered when you would stare out into nothingness and make us wonder what is it you see that we don’t.
I remembered that time you were hit by a car and lost one of your canines, the vet sedated you and you had the full length of your tongue sticking out. Getting home after that you would sit on the mat and rested where we were, still with that smiling face, as if telling us "im okay!"
I remembered every time after a years away from home, you would approach me with suspicion, sniff my shins for awhile and immediately spin around in a circle and bark.
I remembered when i watch television at home, i would hear the clicking of your nails on the marble floor as you attempt to stealthily sneak next to me.
I remembered hiding in the curtains to watch you look for me after i call out your name.
Most of all, i remembered that first day i met you, that set of eyes that melts our faces, that swaggering tail that makes us smile, and that squeaky bark that makes us laugh.
We will always remember you Sabrina, as our first puppy, as our first dog. I will always remember that night i couldn’t sleep because i wanted to see you so bad.
Tonight, will be the same, but knowing now matter how bad i want to see you, no matter how soon the dawn will come, i know you wont be there in our kitchen anymore, you wont be there with your wide eyes, with your wagging tail, and that smiling face anymore.
Where you will be- you will be in our hearts.
Rest Well, Sabrina, Rest well, old friend.
