The Island -Biased Movie Review

the name itself sparks no interesting toughts of any kind. i mean, c'mon "The Island"...how cheesy is that?
kinda reminded me of "Dangerous Island" (a movie from late 80s featuring lamely made and finnished godzilla costumes). But, since Ewan Mcgregor and Scarlet sumthin was playing it i went in the cinema with (my ticket of course), a hard chocolate coated vanilla ice-cream, a movie-cant-do-without coke and a carefree attitude, not trying to decipher or detect any foreshadows the movie might give, just to see how the whole thing goes.



I was late so i missed the ads at the start, damn.

the movie started out peace and calm with a fly by shot of a beutiful island shore, then homes in on a luxurious and futurestic boat. on the stern was our familiar jedi and on the bow stood a not so familiar women, aas he reached out to her something happened. (trying not to give spoilers here) but it was so sudden and shocking it jolted me out of my sleep and not to mention- jolted me out of my stoned state. i was more alert than i was before, now attempting to concentrate more on the movie. effective screen play id say. score ONE for The Island

Our Jedi wakes up in a cool pure white room with LCD monitors everywhere, director/scriptwriter threw in a couple more jokes and humour, maybe its just me but i find it sniggly funny. so..score TWO, funny screens do follow later, albeit the toilet jokes the rest are okay.

But right after that, Obi Wan Kenobi wears a white t-shirt with white pajamas, then shoes where the audience can immediatly spot the familiar imprints of a pouncing cat- Puma. we were like "wtf". its almost(exactly) like I-Robot where Smithy pulls out a pair of Converse shoes which has no correlation to the movie!! nor the time and setting, but at least they did explain it was "vintage", The Island never attempted to do the same thing. so MINUS ONE. throughout the movie, audiences will constatly see brand names chewed up and slattered all over the place especially cars. popular brands like Chrysler (however you spell it), BMG, Cadilac, BMW even MSN! if i rememebr correctly there are Aston Martins cruising around the futuristic highways aswell. this is clearly branding tie-ins with the movie producers...annoying

Then comes the fun part-being able to watch all these exotic, pristegious (and definatly $$$) cars get completly SMASHED up and utterly obliterated by Big Ben Buddy and his hot side-kick. the car chase scene totally i mean TOTALLY dwarfed the Matrix's agents+Neo's in scale and action. SCORE THREE for Ze Island! the action sequences and the scale of the destruction was massive by todays standard. cars gettin Artistically destroyed definatly appeals the masses, or at least me. my budds and i were laughing and saying things like "AWWW!! OUCH!! MAN!!!WTF!!!PWNED!!" throughout the movie.(hopefully we didnt piss the other audiences). it was memorable :) sweet memories id call

okay now enough on screen "criticism". overall cast and crew was okay. Ewan was/is one off my favs. the girl stared in one of the shows not so recently made, i still struggle to rememeber what show she starred in, i think it was SIMONE but i cant be sure for sure..i anyone knows please post it as a comment here or anything. Crazy Eyes from that Adam Sandler mvoie, the renegade from Armaggeddon and other numerous popular titles is also in (this makes me a very bad movie reviwer as i dont remember half the casts names) Then we have the Evil Doctor which i cant rememeber his name as well, but i do rememeber him with Christian Bale in Equilibrium (another action must watch). these 2 not so well know stars suddenly came into pictures like Batman and this The Island definatly pushed my buttons. We also have that african dude who speaks in a very funny yet appealing accent( he claimned his crew to be ex-FBI, CIA, SiS, GIGN, SAS and all those military hoo hahs and will do his job with utmost efficiency HOWEVER, no earth-bound marshall organization can take down our off-world Jedi Knight! one by one his men are taken down by Bennie w/o him using his force powers!. all my favourite cast and crews are in, sooo SCORE FOUR.

Despite the cheesy cliche title name, the story-line, plot , cinematography, screenplay, sound effects are well made and presented. and i have to admit, the story was so well written, you cant tell when is the actual climax. the whole movie is just a blast to watch! clever writting and plot progression constatly cultivated my attention. tho there is this lack of dialogues (for the massive mass appeals also to cater for the simple minded people) also the lack of a more complex plot-once you get the idea..well....you just get the idea, nothing more to that... SCORE FIVE

VERDICT from judges -me,myself,my own, my, mine, moi, if you are me-you, me representing you all- you all

we (you all) have reached a unanumous verdict of ****4 out of *****5

do the maths, its simple 1+1-1+1+1+1=4

my "personal" advice (which is a whole lot of them already actually)- go watch the movie, start out stoned like me and let the screen play, play with your eyes. i can almost guarantee you will be at the edge of your seats if not have already fallen off throughout the whole movie. you will walk out the cinema a satisfied customer.

epilogue- DONT BUY THEM DAMN RIPOFF DVDS, YOU WANT SOME MEDIA GO BUY THE ORIGNAL OR WATCH IT IN THE CINEMA god damn rippoffers....