I Think I've Got It
Theres been some very disturbing things happening around me lately..but like every guy out there (who is, pretty much egocentric) would like to think hes going thru the worst Life could possibly throw at him...i pretty much feel that way.
I really hate that feeling too, when i am granted something, and i take it for granted only to sulk and hate myself a hundred folds more when i realized i have lost it. somethings that are given to us, are meant to be chrished -be it material, factual things, moments, events...even people. and i fave failed...time and time again to cherish these things that ive loved.
assignments dont make any of it easier, with due dates pushing in closer and closer, and having that small window where i was completely void of chore and yet having no one to share my joy with, completely sucks. the window closes soon as more assignments roll in and i relapse back to the great depression...the people around me suffer for that. it is very unfair but its something i am learning to control. its almost the Devil itself is using me as a capsule to spread the angry plague around.
this is thus the life of a Uni student. but doesnt that mean no one is happy? i was the happiest chap a week ago, but as my powerhouse left me a few days ago, i felt compeltely drained of my energy. ive lost the will to do anything fresh, be in fun or be it duty. homework has become some kind of distant thing i can hardly relate myself to (but in the end i still did), and the fun things that used to be fun...just isnt fun doing anymore.
was able to go thru Mongomory's backpackers hotel just now, seeing the streets paved a glow of ember by the street lamps, and the phone booths i used to call Jadyn in, just put a smile on my face, but knowing that those days are over and they are never coming back immediately robs my face of the smile i had a fraction of a second ago.
and then i stare down at my feet, where ive always been looking when i press the reciever to my ear and try very hard to bend the telephone cord when i talked to Jadyn... the little pebbles gettin crushed under my soles... now the pebbles are little fragments of my heart, gettn crushed even more by my soul.
Location, is a very powerful source for triggering memories here. i now look at every single thing with a different light and perspective. it is the same road sign i see on the way to Uni, the same stretch of road, the same bay and the same field...i know that deep in my heart...but even deeper, things have changed.
its a fresh, whole new feeling i have not felt before...or maybe i did but i just cant remember. its so familiar yet alien to me at the very same instant.
the faces are different now...the faces of my friends and acquaintences...
even the people i meet, no longer feel the same. on one sense it seals off any possible progress with some of my friends, but yet others, a million more possibilities erupted...like the birth of another universe where infinite chances of life is possible...very much possible.
but like what i have told everyone who has faced my problem at one point of their life, and those who have told everyone else before me...we can probably sum up a description of life in 3 words -It Goes On....its that simple.
Happiness is an elusive thing....but i think i got it...
I really hate that feeling too, when i am granted something, and i take it for granted only to sulk and hate myself a hundred folds more when i realized i have lost it. somethings that are given to us, are meant to be chrished -be it material, factual things, moments, events...even people. and i fave failed...time and time again to cherish these things that ive loved.
assignments dont make any of it easier, with due dates pushing in closer and closer, and having that small window where i was completely void of chore and yet having no one to share my joy with, completely sucks. the window closes soon as more assignments roll in and i relapse back to the great depression...the people around me suffer for that. it is very unfair but its something i am learning to control. its almost the Devil itself is using me as a capsule to spread the angry plague around.
this is thus the life of a Uni student. but doesnt that mean no one is happy? i was the happiest chap a week ago, but as my powerhouse left me a few days ago, i felt compeltely drained of my energy. ive lost the will to do anything fresh, be in fun or be it duty. homework has become some kind of distant thing i can hardly relate myself to (but in the end i still did), and the fun things that used to be fun...just isnt fun doing anymore.
was able to go thru Mongomory's backpackers hotel just now, seeing the streets paved a glow of ember by the street lamps, and the phone booths i used to call Jadyn in, just put a smile on my face, but knowing that those days are over and they are never coming back immediately robs my face of the smile i had a fraction of a second ago.
and then i stare down at my feet, where ive always been looking when i press the reciever to my ear and try very hard to bend the telephone cord when i talked to Jadyn... the little pebbles gettin crushed under my soles... now the pebbles are little fragments of my heart, gettn crushed even more by my soul.
Location, is a very powerful source for triggering memories here. i now look at every single thing with a different light and perspective. it is the same road sign i see on the way to Uni, the same stretch of road, the same bay and the same field...i know that deep in my heart...but even deeper, things have changed.
its a fresh, whole new feeling i have not felt before...or maybe i did but i just cant remember. its so familiar yet alien to me at the very same instant.
the faces are different now...the faces of my friends and acquaintences...
even the people i meet, no longer feel the same. on one sense it seals off any possible progress with some of my friends, but yet others, a million more possibilities erupted...like the birth of another universe where infinite chances of life is possible...very much possible.
but like what i have told everyone who has faced my problem at one point of their life, and those who have told everyone else before me...we can probably sum up a description of life in 3 words -It Goes On....its that simple.
Happiness is an elusive thing....but i think i got it...
posted by Killl_Roy at 7:53 PM
1 Comments:
everything looks different when u feel different. a beautiful rose which once puts a smile to ur face will look annoying when u're not in love, as it reminds u of how lonely u are. be strong again, u're not a weakling. have time to heal, then start to move on. it's very true, life goes on.. keep the good memories, n leave the rest in the past. her leaving means life has a greater challenge for u, and perhaps a better companion in line. hold on to the good, n live life happy, cherish ur days as a single lad (somethin i didn't do unfortunately) and CHOOSE to be happy.. cheers bro, have some ice-cream to cheer urself up. :P
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