Wednesday, May 31, 2006

No, I Dont Get It...

Product Marketing has ascended to a level I have no resonance with.



Saw this box on the "cereal/oat" section of Woolworths supermarket... i was stopped dead on my tracks, wondered and pondered upon it for a good 11 seconds. then laughed out loud when i found out what it really was and how they have tried to push the sales of this particular product.



I mean, LIMITED EDITION cereal? just when we thought glow-in-the-dark condoms were absurd enough (to see let alone use), to make something so temporary (scoop, mouth, chew,swallow) EVEN more temporary really puts this product into the "endangered species" grocery list. seriously...give me a break...

whats next? bio-degradable cars? disposable laptops? cryo-genetically preserved bananas? mail-order environmentally friendly nuclear devices?

I love to read stuff when im having my breakfast, back in the days where i havent discovered blogs, its usually the newspaper or the games attached to the backs of cereal boxes

"Look out for the magic soccer pieces!"
i waited till they turned soggy..nope..no magix...

i sometimes even read the nutritional info printed on the sides of cereal boxes. On this box however, contained a chronological history of the characteristics of match balls "proudly sponsored" by Adidas.

starting from 1970: Mexico - The Telstar was the first white football ever to be painted with black pentagons...




....hooookay....

1990: Italy - The adidas Etrusco Unico is fully produced with Synthetic Materials and compeletely water resistant..(what you mean they wernt before? thats pretty hard to imagine, playing with a non-water proof football) so if the ball fills up with water during a rainy game, a single powershot stopped by the goal keeper would send 2 people to the bench right off the bat.

wait theres more!

1994: U.S.A - adidas introduced the first official match ball (what were those mentioned earlier? dummy match balls?) featuring a high tech (yeah that tells us alot, ALOT) ultra-high (wow! more than mega!) energy-return layer of white polyethylene foam..

doesnt that mean they have to increase the overall size of a football stadium? because players can kick the ball further now.

2002: France - Bribed Brazil 20million Francs for each Goal they let them in. Suming up to a grand total of 60million Francs.




just joking


it goes on with..

2002: Japan/Korea - The Fevernova features a refined syntactic foam layer to give the ball superior performance characteristics. (umnn...)


This is how the match ball for World Cup 2006 looks like...



is it just me? or does that mighty look as if the ball bounced into the women's water closet and bounced out with a "refined-syntactic-foam-layered" sanitary pad stuck to it?


fancy...

dont get me wrong tho, the cereal tasted superb, and today after 76 seconds into looking for the same cereal box, i couldnt find one, and gave up. leaving just the distant hint of vanilla flavour in my mouth..

Limited Edition indeed. Get It?


2022: Neo-Germany - The adidas Explodio Nukero comes fully intergrated (built-in) with ultra-hightech-super duper complicated alienmugen 500megaton Uranium reactor. increasing energy efficiency by 8.38^45%, maximizing player's performance

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