Over a Glass of Latte
While waiting for my car tyres to be fitted on, i walked up to N.Hobart and had my lunch and a glass of latte as dessert.
The weather was pure shit. the sun was shining mighty bright but it was pouring. the sky might as well drop feces all over us, has the same effect anyway- it pisses the hell out of everyone.
It was a boring, dreadful day since the weather didnt do anything to lift our miseries.
Then, something caught my eye....
across the street, a champagne colored BMW pulled over for a side park. what was interesting at first was that, you dont usually see a bimmer in that colour. it suits a mercedes benz alittle bit more. what was even more interesting was, soon after it parked, a young girl... id say prolly 19-20 years old jumped out.
she had long blonde hair, streaming down her back. the colour slightly lighter than what the car was donned in.
she didnt look Australian, my guess is Italy, Germany or France (the likes, /centralwestern EU). she then walked into a bakery, walked out shortly after with a bag, jumped back in her car and drove off.
it hit me.
it hit me in a weird spot. not that she was a pretty girl, no doubt she was; its not because of the fact she drives a BMW, which im very fond of and drive one myself. its not the colour, its not anything. funny now that i try to reiterate it in words, its so difficult. but i swear i had my moment of clarity when i saw this whole situation unfolded before my eyes across the street.
my this "moment of clarity" - was very haizy. Haizy because, i dont know what i want to do with my life.
sure enough im studying law, not doing a very good job i admit, but i remember having this drive for it. some people would label me as "eccentric" or even down right "weird" "special" or "impractical" in all manners of my ways, but there is one thing that i live upon... one thing in my life, so magnificient in magnitude i have become so dependant on it and without it, i could feel my life whither away (much of which is happening right now).
this substance; this "cup of life"...is my passsion.
i had passion for law. i had passion for arts. i had passion for whatever it is which ive embarked upon because whatever that i didnt journey on- i had no passion for it.
so why did this girl remind me my passion? maybe because she was European.
i remembered imagining myself as a European. what if? i was born a European? would things be different? sure it would be, but the fundamental question is "how? different?"
in what ways? will i have EVEN more passion than i have now? or had, just now?
would money, mean much to me? (make no mistake, it means alot to me now, thats why im seeking for a career in law) would i be raised with the mind set of "study hard in primary school so you can get into a good secondary school, then study even more to get into a university and study even more to get good grades and get lotsa job recommendations and be bright to start your own buisness and earn so much money you might as well print your own cash so you can enjoy life..." at the age of 55 when arthritis and heart failure and lung cancer to say the least, starts to kick in....
having said that above, id like to make it clear that this is a very typical chinese mindset, and having said that, i did say it was "typical" and it doesnt represent the entire chinese race.
so, where am i? a yellow blooded Chinese longing to be a romantic French? a passionate Italian? or a Savvy German?
make no mistake either, im not dishing my parents for the way i have been brought up, i just had this thought.... all of a sudden....
over a glass of latte.
The weather was pure shit. the sun was shining mighty bright but it was pouring. the sky might as well drop feces all over us, has the same effect anyway- it pisses the hell out of everyone.
It was a boring, dreadful day since the weather didnt do anything to lift our miseries.
Then, something caught my eye....
across the street, a champagne colored BMW pulled over for a side park. what was interesting at first was that, you dont usually see a bimmer in that colour. it suits a mercedes benz alittle bit more. what was even more interesting was, soon after it parked, a young girl... id say prolly 19-20 years old jumped out.
she had long blonde hair, streaming down her back. the colour slightly lighter than what the car was donned in.
she didnt look Australian, my guess is Italy, Germany or France (the likes, /centralwestern EU). she then walked into a bakery, walked out shortly after with a bag, jumped back in her car and drove off.
it hit me.
it hit me in a weird spot. not that she was a pretty girl, no doubt she was; its not because of the fact she drives a BMW, which im very fond of and drive one myself. its not the colour, its not anything. funny now that i try to reiterate it in words, its so difficult. but i swear i had my moment of clarity when i saw this whole situation unfolded before my eyes across the street.
my this "moment of clarity" - was very haizy. Haizy because, i dont know what i want to do with my life.
sure enough im studying law, not doing a very good job i admit, but i remember having this drive for it. some people would label me as "eccentric" or even down right "weird" "special" or "impractical" in all manners of my ways, but there is one thing that i live upon... one thing in my life, so magnificient in magnitude i have become so dependant on it and without it, i could feel my life whither away (much of which is happening right now).
this substance; this "cup of life"...is my passsion.
i had passion for law. i had passion for arts. i had passion for whatever it is which ive embarked upon because whatever that i didnt journey on- i had no passion for it.
so why did this girl remind me my passion? maybe because she was European.
i remembered imagining myself as a European. what if? i was born a European? would things be different? sure it would be, but the fundamental question is "how? different?"
in what ways? will i have EVEN more passion than i have now? or had, just now?
would money, mean much to me? (make no mistake, it means alot to me now, thats why im seeking for a career in law) would i be raised with the mind set of "study hard in primary school so you can get into a good secondary school, then study even more to get into a university and study even more to get good grades and get lotsa job recommendations and be bright to start your own buisness and earn so much money you might as well print your own cash so you can enjoy life..." at the age of 55 when arthritis and heart failure and lung cancer to say the least, starts to kick in....
having said that above, id like to make it clear that this is a very typical chinese mindset, and having said that, i did say it was "typical" and it doesnt represent the entire chinese race.
so, where am i? a yellow blooded Chinese longing to be a romantic French? a passionate Italian? or a Savvy German?
make no mistake either, im not dishing my parents for the way i have been brought up, i just had this thought.... all of a sudden....
over a glass of latte.
posted by Killl_Roy at 3:16 PM
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