Coke Can Collection

another completely random barrage of thoughts..

have you ever had that sreak of bad luck with stuff? im going thru one right now and its revolved around our super-dependant nature on technology(well at least i am)..

last week my laptop fried itself..and just refused to work. this week, my new laptop well...fried itself again. First it was the soundcard.. it started playing the choppin in impromptu and refused to play anything else!

the next thing to go was my modem drivers...for the 56k i mean, i never used broadband anyway because everytime i use it, i feel like hurting myself, or someoneelse.. *smacks person next to me*

so i rely on my trusty 56k...but even that cant save me now */wrists*

im pissed, angry and sad, so i walked to the uni eager to find solace.but on the way there, my MP3 player starts to mess up too! the "fwd" button sank into the body and doesnt wanna come out...gg now i cant skip songs no more...

so i pull out my phone and call the few friends i have..and guess what?

got it yet?

yeah it disconnects wayy tooo offteen...sometimes i have to redial 7-9 times before i can get a call in...after 30 seconds into a call, i get disconnected..

Carman knows this fact best, i can never have an uninterupted conversation with him, nor anyone.

so thats all for technological mishaps, i hope theres no more..

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second point for today, i just realized, the reason for my sado-masochistic behaviour...we'll not the reason but rather the futileness of the whole matter..

so what if you slash your chest with a rusted blade? what if you slit your arm and watch your blood draw lines on the bathroom sink?

so what if you punch the walls till your knuckles bleed? so what if you sulk and shit yourself over and over? no one cares.

when someone doesnt love you back the way you do to them, dont turn inwards...

turn outwards, show them EVEN more of what you are capable of (not the hurting part) how can you protect the people you love when you are so idodically and pathetically weak yourself? go figure dumbass.

and not so suprisingly, ive learnt this fact, not from friends nor family, but from my enemies...

"keep your friends close, and your enemies - closer"

gosh i love that saying.

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Final point for today..

Feeling restless? cant fall asleep because your daymares haunt you by night? heres an effective method i found out last night while i tossed and turned in my sleeping bag (yes its possible, you wake up to a whole tangled mess of cloth and linen)

you have to imagine, your soul is being lifted from your body.

im serious.

for about 2 minutes i attempted that fathom, i felt damn lethargic.. and throbbing yet soothing pains on my entire upper body.

its like, i thought of myself, looking at myself from a 3rd persons perspective, and my soul is leaving my body..

i felt tired, really tired..and fell asleep almost instantly...

it works :D becareful tho, if youve got a powerful mind, (not the feeble type like mine) your soul MIGHT just actually leave..

and never come back..