The Wall
What is a Mistake?
In my book, to make a mistake is to partake in an action which yielded unsatisfactory or regretful results. Im Pretty sure if anyone else did keep a book, it would pretty much have the same definition as mine.
Another thing about mistakes is that, retribution usually follows. Retribution is usually the agent of the abovementioned remorse, or it could work retrospectively, or vice-versa. When I was young, when i made a bad mistake, i was told by my father to face the wall, and rethink my actions. I hated the fact i made that mistake not because it affected whatever entailed my mistake, but the fact i had to face the wall.
Thinking back, why did i hate that wall so much? Because it made me look no where else, no one else to blame, no one else to place my mind on, all except myself. I look hard, i think deep, and it all comes clear. I hated what i saw, and what i saw was myself.
Now my dad, wise that he is, saw through me. He knew immediately when i saw what i did, and i was allowed to “leave” the wall, and having that perspective of myself again, but now however, i have to apply what i saw whilst facing the wall –in the real world once more. That being that, it was still a relief i no longer have to face that blank acre of painted concrete.
Since then, i dare not say i have never made a mistake ever again, but that little exercise with the wall has enabled me to think reflectively and see what and where went wrong –achieving the effect of facing the wall, without facing it.
Last year, i made a mistake. This mistake was not new to me as i have made it before in the past, many times in fact. My mistake was letting my ego out unrestrained. Not immediately, but after awhile i had realized it, but it was too late. The feared “regretful result” was already in effect.
Once again, I face the wall, receiving my retribution.
Now, after a year of realizing my mistake, i feel as if, i am still facing the wall. My old man isn’t here to tell me “its okay son, you can come out from the wall now”. Unlike how it used to be, even though now i know my mistake, i am still suffering from it’s reckoning.
So when? Can i leave the wall?
In my book, to make a mistake is to partake in an action which yielded unsatisfactory or regretful results. Im Pretty sure if anyone else did keep a book, it would pretty much have the same definition as mine.
Another thing about mistakes is that, retribution usually follows. Retribution is usually the agent of the abovementioned remorse, or it could work retrospectively, or vice-versa. When I was young, when i made a bad mistake, i was told by my father to face the wall, and rethink my actions. I hated the fact i made that mistake not because it affected whatever entailed my mistake, but the fact i had to face the wall.
Thinking back, why did i hate that wall so much? Because it made me look no where else, no one else to blame, no one else to place my mind on, all except myself. I look hard, i think deep, and it all comes clear. I hated what i saw, and what i saw was myself.
Now my dad, wise that he is, saw through me. He knew immediately when i saw what i did, and i was allowed to “leave” the wall, and having that perspective of myself again, but now however, i have to apply what i saw whilst facing the wall –in the real world once more. That being that, it was still a relief i no longer have to face that blank acre of painted concrete.
Since then, i dare not say i have never made a mistake ever again, but that little exercise with the wall has enabled me to think reflectively and see what and where went wrong –achieving the effect of facing the wall, without facing it.
Last year, i made a mistake. This mistake was not new to me as i have made it before in the past, many times in fact. My mistake was letting my ego out unrestrained. Not immediately, but after awhile i had realized it, but it was too late. The feared “regretful result” was already in effect.
Once again, I face the wall, receiving my retribution.
Now, after a year of realizing my mistake, i feel as if, i am still facing the wall. My old man isn’t here to tell me “its okay son, you can come out from the wall now”. Unlike how it used to be, even though now i know my mistake, i am still suffering from it’s reckoning.
So when? Can i leave the wall?
posted by Killl_Roy at 8:22 PM
1 Comments:
"So When ? Can I leave the Wall ?"
The decision is yours.
Love From Mom
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