At the Table

Poker table to be precise. Recently, Couple of friends of mine and I play poker together as a group-activity.

We would gather up, 6-12 strong depending on the nights we play, and we'd talk about stuff while playing poker, anything really. Sometimes we talk about everything, sometimes, more specifically we talk about whats happening at our poker table.

And what i realized was, poker reflects alot of things we do in real life, all condensed down to a pack of cards.

Tonight, the lesson i've learnt derived from this incident:

Cant remember what were my cards exactly, but it looked as if it was a no-gamer, so i fold quite early in that single game. The rest of the guys had something in their hand, hence played big, and big (relatively) they played. $10 only to be raised by another $10 only to be outdone by $10 more, by the end of the deal, it turned out my hand was actually the biggest, and the pile of money in the pot was actually mine, if i played that is.

But i didnt play, and i didnt win that round.

Now, a normal human being would go "awwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit i shoudlve followed" or something along those lines. BUT, we dont have the gift of foresight, no one does, unless youre a psychic... so, except for the amusement and an empty warning to the winner of that round that you did infact HAD a hand -announcing your frustration to everyone at the table is as futile as hurling verbal insults to a deaf and annoying person. Afterall, what is the table going to do? pretend you actually played and give you the money in the pot?

No.

This happened to alot of people, almost everyone at one point or the other, then one of my friends said

"If it is not yours to take - it is not yours to take."

Drop the shit, straigthen your shit up and get ready for the next round, just like things in real life.













Trivia: "Sandwiches" were named after Earl of Sandwich -He needed something easy to eat while at the gambling table.

The Wall

What is a Mistake?

In my book, to make a mistake is to partake in an action which yielded unsatisfactory or regretful results. Im Pretty sure if anyone else did keep a book, it would pretty much have the same definition as mine.


Another thing about mistakes is that, retribution usually follows. Retribution is usually the agent of the abovementioned remorse, or it could work retrospectively, or vice-versa. When I was young, when i made a bad mistake, i was told by my father to face the wall, and rethink my actions. I hated the fact i made that mistake not because it affected whatever entailed my mistake, but the fact i had to face the wall.

Thinking back, why did i hate that wall so much? Because it made me look no where else, no one else to blame, no one else to place my mind on, all except myself. I look hard, i think deep, and it all comes clear. I hated what i saw, and what i saw was myself.

Now my dad, wise that he is, saw through me. He knew immediately when i saw what i did, and i was allowed to “leave” the wall, and having that perspective of myself again, but now however, i have to apply what i saw whilst facing the wall –in the real world once more. That being that, it was still a relief i no longer have to face that blank acre of painted concrete.

Since then, i dare not say i have never made a mistake ever again, but that little exercise with the wall has enabled me to think reflectively and see what and where went wrong –achieving the effect of facing the wall, without facing it.


Last year, i made a mistake. This mistake was not new to me as i have made it before in the past, many times in fact. My mistake was letting my ego out unrestrained. Not immediately, but after awhile i had realized it, but it was too late. The feared “regretful result” was already in effect.

Once again, I face the wall, receiving my retribution.

Now, after a year of realizing my mistake, i feel as if, i am still facing the wall. My old man isn’t here to tell me “its okay son, you can come out from the wall now”. Unlike how it used to be, even though now i know my mistake, i am still suffering from it’s reckoning.

So when? Can i leave the wall?