The Smiling Dog

It was night time. I sat in my living room, watching the television. But i could not focus nor understand the person in the box is trying to tell me. My mind was elsewhere, somewhere far from home. Hoping that my “mind” would return soon, or i would definitely lose it.

Just as i had that thought, the heavy electric gates jolted into motion, making a loud clang as it always did when someone opens it using the remote. I immediately jumped out of the sofa, and unlocked that large silver padlock to go out. Mz, my eldest sister was carrying a paper box, with a smile so wide and curved the crescent moon should be envious of.

She was trying to navigate the dark and narrow corner caused by my mother’s car that had been parked before my fathers, but she seemed to have done it with ease, both of us had the same thing in mind, to quickly get to our backyard and unleash the contents of that box she was carrying. Mq, my 2nd eldest sister too was hyper with joy.

No one said a thing, the buzz in the family could not be described in words.
Crossing the living room, to the dining room to the kitchen seemed an eternity, but alas we were all squatting down on the kitchen floor, and my sisters slowly, gently unfolded the box lid. Inside, was a snow white, furry ball. Inanimate at first, it slowly turned around, revealing its eyes. Like two black marbles embedded in the slow, its innocent stare melted five hearts mercilessly.

It was a puppy, a Japanese spitz.

It was also afraid, afraid of the new world it was in now. Afraid that we are all monsters hungry for a feast, which at the time really seemed like what it was. We wanted to stay with it for the whole night, as it was so adorable, more innocent than us mere children of 15 years below, i myself was only 9 or so.
Then Mq asked, “where is she sleeping tonight?”, “inside the house!” i yelled. “don’t be ridiculous,” mother said, “just leave it outside for tonight, it will get used to it sooner or later, and you three should really go to bed, its 10pm already”.

All three of us, after putting her down back in the box, now laden with old rags and towels, and the after the box was set in a corner of the wetkitchen outside, we shuffled our heavy feet back upstairs to our rooms.
That night i tossed and turned endlessly, hoping for daylight to come. That night was akin to suffering in hell, hoping the day would tick past what was an eternity and i would be redeemed again.

Too tired from the excitement, i did fell asleep.


I opened my eyes, and the leaves of our curry tree periodically obscuring the morning sun on my face, i jumped up out of bed. Did not even bother to brush my teeth, and ran straight down to the kitchen.

There she was, standing just outside the door, with her miniscule tail swaggering like a noob pirate trying to wield a wooden sword, her tongue sticking out. I went closer to her quickly, just before reaching down to pat her, with her head held high, she spun herself a full circle before starting up at me again, the structure of her jaw makes it look like she is smiling, but we had a feeling if she could smile, she indeed was doing it.

Little did we know that became her signature move in the years to come.

It was a weekday, and i had to go to school. Never had i hated school that much. From last nights hell on bed to limbo in the classroom, i jittered, i shuffled my feet, i shook my tight, i spun my pen and bit by fingers. Then the school bell rung, after a total of 12, i would be free.

Like the man in the tv the night before, i could not understand what my teacher was trying to say. My mind was covered in a blanket of white furriness. Spinning my white eraser round and round, like how she would do it, i smiled to myself.

I stuck my head out of the bus while going home. The wind on my face was sweet freedom. My friends kept asking me about my new puppy and i told them with much enthusiasm.


Reaching home, i left my school bag outside, and just played with her until the sun set that day. My sisters were there too. We struggled hard to think for a name for her. None of us came up with a good one, and we jsut let it hang.


The sky grew darker and darker, but her white fur penetrated the darkness and was the only que to where she was while i sat in our backyard still playing with her all types of games. That day she barked for the first time when i sat up on a highwall. She again looking at me with her swaggering tail and wide eyes with tongue out.

It was then my sister Mq came running out, and yelled “Sabrina!”. “what?”
“call her Sabrina!”, she was only inside watching the television while having her dinner and Sabrina the Teenage Witch cartoon was on. It was a good name, i agreed and Mz did too.

From henceforth, our first puppy, our first dog came to known as Sabrina.

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I remembered the days, where on Saturday lazy mornings, i would lie down on the dining room floor, and you would curl up at my feet.

I remembered how mom’s friends would say you are a dog who can smile.

I remembered watching you grow day by day, from a little fuzzy ball to a respectable, elegant size.

I remembered watching your wooden sword tail grow and spread like a peacocks feather.

I remembered carrying you home after you attempted to run out of the house and you turned around to lick my nose

I remembered the time you would be our goal keeper, intercepting our goal shots, and would always let go of the ball once i place my feet on it, as if you were saying “again! Again!”.

I remembered watching the stars on the drive way with you, troubled by human things, you reminded me theres a simpler way of life by tossing my arm over your back with your black buttoned nose.

I remembered you galloping at me with so much excitement you forgot how to run with
four legs as i lie down on the floor.

I remembered you always love to curl your back against my feet when i sat cross legged on the floor.

I remembered how i shoved you under the piano and you would panic and crawl out, but always came back to me for another go.

I remembered bathing you with cold water, and you would shiver and all i did was wanted to hug you warm again.

I remembered that same bath that you shook off all the soap water on my school uniform

I remembered how you always try to catch stray cats but they are always too fast for you

I remembered when i slept on the living room sofa at night, you would wake me up by either sleeping under my arm, or licking my finger tips, then look at me with those wide eyes and wagging tail as if its perfectly okay to wake me up.

I remembered you would always bark at nothing past the gate, it really annoyed us but we know youre just doing your job.

I remembered how you would join us for dinner, and i would feed you a bone by biting the edges of it with my mouth and you would receive it at the same time trying your best not to touch my lips at all.

I remembered you would always bring the food we give to you outside because you wont dirty the floor. After youre finished you would run back again looking for more.

I remembered when you would stare out into nothingness and make us wonder what is it you see that we don’t.

I remembered that time you were hit by a car and lost one of your canines, the vet sedated you and you had the full length of your tongue sticking out. Getting home after that you would sit on the mat and rested where we were, still with that smiling face, as if telling us "im okay!"

I remembered every time after a years away from home, you would approach me with suspicion, sniff my shins for awhile and immediately spin around in a circle and bark.


I remembered when i watch television at home, i would hear the clicking of your nails on the marble floor as you attempt to stealthily sneak next to me.

I remembered hiding in the curtains to watch you look for me after i call out your name.

Most of all, i remembered that first day i met you, that set of eyes that melts our faces, that swaggering tail that makes us smile, and that squeaky bark that makes us laugh.

We will always remember you Sabrina, as our first puppy, as our first dog. I will always remember that night i couldn’t sleep because i wanted to see you so bad.

Tonight, will be the same, but knowing now matter how bad i want to see you, no matter how soon the dawn will come, i know you wont be there in our kitchen anymore, you wont be there with your wide eyes, with your wagging tail, and that smiling face anymore.
Where you will be- you will be in our hearts.
Rest Well, Sabrina, Rest well, old friend.

Wrath of Nature

I am the warm winds of spring; who blows your way because it is my nature.
I am the said season’s sun, who lights your way in fulfilling my function.
I am the night of the summer, who lifts the dreaded heat.
I am that smooth rock by the river, which becomes your convenient seat.
I am that burning coal, which you survive on while I burn into oblivion.
I am Father Time, which erases distant memories to make way for your future.

I do not exist for the sole purpose of your relief and bliss. I serve my own purposes, as things would have it, you reap the benefits of my existence and I allow you so.

If you were to use idle words to describe my being, to maliciously twist the profits that I willingly provide, then may it be so that

You shall wither a in the warm season’s cold.
You shall grope with danger in the shadow.
You shall burn in the full force of my alter ego’s wrath.
You shall stand as punishment in the flowing river’s path.
You shall die a cold death because the fires burn hollow.
You shall wander lost and confused in eternity’s fold.

Schema Dilemma

When the Sky Splits and the Earth Divides;
Which soil should your feet Confide?
When the Sea Tears and the Paths Diverge;
At Which End should your Mind Emerge?

If Living is akin to Fatal Suffering,
And Death a solution if one is Willing,
Then should one endure accusations that keep him in culpable?
Or should one be named The Coward when he hastens the Inevitable?

We are all given the false pretense of man-made fate; the illusion of choice.
Our alleged own words are mere silhouettes; pronounced, made known to the rest, by a borrowed voice.

What are the Odds of That happening?

“A Happy Man Rants not, lest the Man is Unhappy and Suffers in Silence”


Anyway, just a quick snippet of something freaky that has happened the past week.
Weather was good, so I summoned up a group of friends to go fishing by the cape in Taroona. Being my 2nd time fishing with the first catching nothing but a dumb crab, I was enthusiastic in hauling up some fishes that day.

I straightened the rod, set the bait and cast the line. Within seconds, the tip of the rod starts nodding down erratically, I knew I had caught something. Mirroring what I saw on TV and also pointers from my friends who are obviously more experienced than I in fishing, I reeled my catch in with much force and grace.

To my great surprise, I did indeed catch a fish. It was a coastal breed of catfish, and it was quite large and the rod can barely support the weight of the fish once it was out of the water.

What was interesting about this catch was, towards the end of the tail, there was another hook in addition to the one in its mouth which I caught it from. So this fish has been “hooked” twice, how the 2nd hook got into the tail, I have no idea and thought it was physically impossible.

Anyway, I tried to remove the hook from the fish, using a tool Allan had provided. Being a total noob I really didn’t know how to. And the result was one fish squirming in a bucket half full of sea water, painfully so. I felt bad, but the adrenaline of standing on a precarious, slippery rock, and the wrestling that ensued the reeling of the fish left me with a great high.

This is the 1st time ive caught something with a fishing rod. I remembered more than a decade ago, my cousin and I would make fishing rods out of bend wires, some thread and a long stick, in the hopes of catching something off the river behind my grandmothers house, to no avail of course. This was a “dream come true”. It was something I had always wanted to do.

Resting for a moment, trying not to think too much about the painful process of removing the mangled hook out from the fishes mouth, I marvelled at the size and the sheer fact I had caught a fish. 1st one amongst 5 other friends to do so too!

I set a 2nd bait, cast the line and left the rod on one of the many rock crevices. Before I even got to sit down, again the line nodded. And before I knew it, I again gracefully reeled in a 2nd catch.

This one even bigger than the 1st had a bloated tummy, and it really looked like it was pregnant. I didn’t want to go through the trauma of removing another fish hook, so I had allan do it.

The interval between my 2nd and 3rd catch, Sani and Dennis both caught something. Sani caught a flounder and another catfish. Dennis caught this odd looking fish with protruding jaws. It looked like a deepsea creature. Not knowing what it was, we were happy he caught anything at all. Allan and Melvin did not catch anything.

After my 3rd catch, the sun was setting and we were losing light. So we started our march back to our cars at the carpark.

Walking along the beach, treading on the soft sands, I could not help but think about the processes of fishing. Sure the excitement of feeling your rod fighting back as you try to reel your catch in was a great experience.

But on one side of the rod, is a man flattering his own ego; on the other side of the rod is a creature ensnared in suffering.

We planned to cook the fish for dinner, and I told them “lets say a prayer before we send the knife down”.

Driving along the ultra-bendy roads home, my mind kept flashing back to the process involved in removing the fish. Some may argue im not an expert hence ive induced more pain on the fish, but, a hook larger than your face pierces through your mouth is undeniably painful.

Then all of a sudden, the brakes on my car fails. The battery indicator flashes on my cluster, giving the car more gas does nothing, infact doing the latter makes the car sputter. My car has stalled going 60kmph on a bendy coastal road.

Not panicking, knowing the road a little, I slowly used my handbrakes and did minor steering adjustments to compensate for the fact I have lost power and brakes to my car. And eventually stopped at a turn-off.

My friends later arrived, we tried everything, jumpstarting, push starting the car to no avail. The engine cranks fine as it lunges forward if I start the car in 1st gear. My lights work, so does my radio, which means the battery is not dead.

I called RACT and they said since im not a member, I would need to pay over 300dollars for them to send someone over. I hung up after I told the operator I would consider that as a last resort.
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Then we thought about the fish, and Sani said “maybe we angered some spirits”. Allan was usually a pro, and catches the most and the largest amongst everyone. That day he didn’t catch anything, me being a complete nubhead caught 3 out of the 6.

Not feeling very optimistic, Sani called Allan to release the fishes.

Right after he hung up, a man came over and said “I know whaats wrong with your car.” Said something about a fuel distributor not giving out fuel, but he cant find the parts since it’s a “European” car. He then called RACT, and used his membership. A few moments later a van with all the parts came along, swapped out a fuse and turned the ignition key.

To everyone’s surprise and delight, my car roared into life. Fiercely idiling at 800rpm. That put a smile on everyone’s faces, especially mine.

The sheer coincidence of my car breaking down after catching so many fishes, and right after that phone call was made to release the fishes did the good Samaritan came by.

What are the odds really.