To Cast The Dye

this morning i woke up and said to myself "wow, i feel retarded". so i did what all retarded people would do- doing stuff without thinking it 1st.

i went to the saloon and said "i want to highlight my hair", she replied "what colour?" and i said "whatever you think suits my face and skin complexion best" she went like.."mmm okay.."

the colour she choose was blonde

the whole procedire was jsut weird, she started by putting a giant condom over my head, which had little pores around them. then used a miniature pitch fork and picked out strands of hair thru those pores. and dyed just the outside..thus highlighting..

she later dyed my whole head with a lighter colour because gold-on-black isnt as elegant as waht most people think.

took a few picture of my head but couldnt get my self to post it up here...so this is just a heads up to the people who see me on a regular basis...dont freak out aye? its still the same old me with quite, a radical changeover.

Flamme

its been long, too long... due to my recent brain power de-surge, beetched up essays and exams and also my addiction to World of warcraft, i have been rather.....busy...yes...busy...

in addition to that, 2 things that happened to day left me with a very irritated mind

scenario 1:

so i was up till 5am yesterday trying to finnish up my Media Essay... at 5:30am, i slept like i have never slept before. i was so deep in a sleep its considered a trance. i set my clock to 1pm and inbetween all that time, my brain was thoughtless, no dreams no REM no nothing. just ...pitch....black....

woke up to sounds of stabbing daggers and gouging of eyeball sounds, Eric was playing Wow...and reality slapped me in the face, i had an essay to finnish up..it is now 1pm, i have 4 hours...time was agaisnt me.

boarded a tram, and this is the beetch part.. i qued in the tram while it moved to my destination. i qued and qued and qued and when it was my turn, i tossed in the many coins that i had (trams are essential in Melbourne, so essential they wouldnt even bother to integrate note-dollar-bill-reading technology into it, so yeah, coins and coins 1 by 1 i dump them into the slot).

when the moniter prompted me to "remove my ticket" and so i did, i looked up and i passed my stop................................................................. wtf.................................................................

i had to clamber out of the tuna can and prove darwins theory of fish-bipedal evolution correct

i payed 3.10$ to walk



Scenario 2

it is late and time was running out. i rushed to the com labs on lincoln street after copying down all the refences from the library. then i wrote my bibliography. and when i did....on a bloody fucked up piece of shit Mac, i cant find the button that allows me to underline the title of the book.i looked up and down, and every possible command i can possibly find... i was on the verge on doing 2 things - 1. whip out my marker pen and underline that book on my screen
2. after realizing that i cant do that and my IQ actually deteriorated because i actually thought of doing so, made me return to my primal instincts of "when something doesnt work, break it" mentality.

like a gentlemen that i am, i asked the kind lady next to me. guess what, she uses a Mac and she couldnt find it :)

after consulting the bible and googling the bloody fark up, i found what was then the Holy Grail -how to underline a sentence.

no wonder Bill Gates is the richest of the rich (dont argue with me on that on something like "ohh hes the 2nd now..." .ill bite your head off, trust me)

Scenario 2.5

when i finally got to print it, hahahahahha guess what? because its a fucking retarded Mac (Mentally Ailed Computer) it only prints on both sides...my 4 page essay was reduced to 2 sheets of paper...it looked so......content-less, but i couldnt care less anymore. i handed it in.




well thats it for the half aday, hope it turns better after this, or im really gonna bite something off its shoulders....

zOMG

came across a very interesting blog page the other day, dedicated to defame bad engreish and a sub group of "trendy people" from Singapore. from there, i got this link (http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=22265789)

prepare to get "cock-eyed"!


if you have time for sadistic jokes in good-english visit www.retardpatrol.blogspot.com.


disclaimer (gosh ive been doing this alot lately): author of this post cannot be helded responsible for any physical or psychological damaged caused by reading the posts linked above. kthxbye

Daylight Savings

the name itself contradicts what the conventioned-protocol actually does.

Savings, would suggest that you have actually, "saved" something as in, "did-not-spend" something..which is beneficial right?

BUUUUT, Daylight Savings is actually fprwarding your clock, 1 hour ahead. so, correct me if i am wrong, but forwarding 1 hour ahead would mean that, 1 hour just...dissapeared right? its like, you sleep from 12am to 8am. thats 8 hours of sleep, but if "Dailight savings" happened during your sleep, you have only slept for 7 hours.

dont know about you guys, 1 hour may seem negligible, but it has affected my body clock tremendously. and i feel lethargic >.<"

Random Item #3656A

yep. its a random post from me.

the nastiest thing you can probably do (get) while taking a dump:

10: i know this is common, but reading a book? i mean, cmon! i rememebered at this one time, Fred (http://fred-factor.blogspot.com/) was over my place for an excursion, he was still new to worldofwarcraft, thus needed to know more. he nabbed my copy of the manual, very casually said "i need to take a shiet" and went into the bathroom. urgh xD

9: talking on the phone would be number 9 on this list. so long as the person youre talking to doesnt know what youre doing..but we cant relly hide the fact that when the brownie breaks the surface of the water, it makes an "unhidable" sound, unless you do something like "hey. remember that time when AAAAAAAA(plop)AAAAAA we went to that movie......*plop being that unmistakable sound*

8: for you boys out there, according to Marilyn Manson, when you get a boner while taking a dump, youre officially gay :)

7: for women, the thing that comes once in a while.

6: feeling sick (very), or just drank high lactose milk when youre lactose intollerant (like me)

5: video conference (zOMG)

4: this ties to 8 - wanking.

3: not washing your hands AFTER the act.

2: this has got to go with eating. to illustrate better - foods like hamburgers

1: personally, i think smoking while at it, is the MOST Disgusting thing in the name of mr.Hanky a person can ever-possibly do. its like, the gas and air particles released from that piece of hell within you is bad enough, but taking a couple lung full of it + the ash/nicotin/tobacco combo really puts it on the number 1 spot in this list. and to think that my high school mates actually smoke in the toilet really puts me off. ergh


disclaimer: this list is a result of severe boredom and brain in-activity. the persons writting this has not experienced any of the scenarios listed above. any persons mentioned in this artistic creation is entirely the work of fiction. resemblence to anyone alive or deceased is purely coincidental.