A Famous Man...

...Once said,

'I think, Therefore I am"

what about?

"I Dont think, therefore I am not"?

Last night, I Dreamt... So what does that make me? Of course, that would depend on what exactly did I dream about.

Last Night, I Dreamt about God. Before we go any further, I want to clarify this is not your average Christian Bible Jesus, or your Quran Allah. This is just God, in its purest form. I Dreamt of my own personal "judgement day" or its equivalent.

What happened was, This magnificient presence just appeared infront of me. well, it started out that way, but almost immediately, I could feel the presence of a much, much superior than thou being all around me. Its not the 1st time this happened, infact, its happened many times before. the most recent occurance was when i was in Melb during the mid sem breaks, when i was asleep in Choke's room.

Like that time, the presence was great. But unlike that time, this time, it was my own judgement day, or night, well since it happened at night.

What i saw was... its hard to explain in words, because these are pure emotions and sensations felt only by the body and mind, MY body and mind. It was as if, my entire life's mistakes, vices, troubles and trauma were showed to me in a fraction of a second. I tell you, It is... absolutely... Overwhelming.

It was overwhelmingly painful. The agony of instantaneous and continuous regret is immeasurable, so much my mortal body could not really take it.

Last night, I died a little, as the clutches of Death merely pricked me with its bony finger tips. It was an out-of-this-world experience.

How did i know all these? because the "dream" lasted for only a fraction of a second, because i only remember that much, and i am one hundred percent sure, that what i remembered was all that had happened. what i saw in that instantaneous flash, was all the things i did wrong, all the things i could have, would have, should have done in a different way i did in the past.

I woke up, face drenched in tears and sweat, and somehow had a feeling that if i shut my eyes then and go to sleep, theres a possible chance i might not wake up the next morning, for i have died in my sleep.

But after what i have just saw in my sleep, theres little motivation to live on.

Alas, to half my dissappointment but half grateful, i did wake up today.

If what i saw was indeed the workings of a greater conscience, then i believe that the "judgemend day" fabled in so many "holy texts" is NOT the ultimate end of sentient life. Half the world will roll over and die of their own agony they sewed into their lives; the other half, will live again, and repent their mistakes as sincerely possible.

God, that Famous "Man" does exist- But you have not met him(It) yet.

That Yellow Commodore

A few days back i drove to woolies to get some groceries after a lecture. Pulling up into the carpark, i saw an empty slot on the left, so i drove forward abit, and prepared for a reverse-park manuever.

After the park was complete, i gave the handbrake a good yank, since mine doesnt work that well, looked out the window to see if there was anyone before i opened my door.

There was indeed, someone out the door. It was a girl, sitting in her yellow commodore, preparing to drive out to parking lot. Our eyes met in and instant. Feeling shy and suddenly overwhelmed by what was before my eyes, i forced a smile -not because i didnt want to smile at her, but for the sheer fact she was gorgeous as hell and i was nervous not to mention the fact i was also slightly stunned.

As quickly as it happened, both of us broke eye contact, as if she knew how i felt, - She looked down, away from me to end my sweet torment. At the corner of her lips, there was a tiny curve.

very Quickly, She turned her head to look at me once more, then just as fast, turned away and engaged her reverse gear. I waited for the nose of her car to pass by my door before i opened mine own door.

I stood out from my car, and still, couldnt help but look at her. From this point i could see that she was wearing a black spring dress littered with green, curling rose veins and rose petals, it had a wide-round collar and her sleeves were slightly flared and folded.

Her dress was beautiful, but her face and more importantly, that smile, albeit small, was enough to trump anything and everything else.

I could hear the dog-teeth in her gearbox disengage and re-engage as she moves the stick from reverse to first.

Before gently pushing her foot down at the pedal, she looked at me once more, this time, for the last time.

Realizing my gaze was still helplessly fixed on her, she smiled at me with great thanks and appreciation -which was appropriate, for my gaze could mean nothing else than "You're so beautiful".

I stood by my car, looking at her car's V6 engine grunting its way around the roundabout. although under the full rays of the Spring Sun, it felt as if the day was getting darker and darker, as that Yellow Commodore slowly but surely drove away...